Silent Nursery
by Rudy
Summary: Lorelai and Luke lose suddenly lose someone they love
1. Memories of Joy and Pain

Title: Silent Nursery  
  
By: Rudy  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Feedback: Would really like some. I worked 4evah on this one. Send to rudy_lana7@hotmail.com or if reading this at fanfiction.net, just press the little blue button on the bottom left of your screen. Thanx.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own anything to do with the Gilmore Girls…but all that will change once I am declared Empress of the World! INSERT EVIL LAUGH HERE  
  
Summary: Luke and Lorelai suddenly lose someone they love.  
  
The room was small and painted sky blue. Pale yellow curtains hung motionless in the window. In front of it a white crib stood with the day's last bit of sunlight dancing over it. The sheet and blankets were slightly ruffled like they had been recently slept in. The room was completely silent.  
  
Suddenly the bedroom door opened and a tall dark haired woman slowly stepped in. The soft padding of her feet on the carpet echoed loudly in the silence of the room. She ran her fingers lightly over the surface of the dresser until they came to rest on a framed photograph. The woman gently caressed the smiling faces in the picture as the memory of when it was taken began to play in her mind as vividly as if it were right in front of her…  
  
**FLASHBACK 10 MONTHS EARLIER**  
  
"Push Lorelai! Push! We're almost there!"  
  
"Oh shut up Luke!"  
  
"Wha-?"  
  
"You did this to me!"  
  
"But…"  
  
"I swear to God, if you come near me again, I'll pour hot coffee down your pants!!"  
  
Her husband took a step back, a little hurt, but mostly fearing for his life. As he turned towards the door he heard his wife scream at him again.  
  
"Where are you going?! I'm sorry! I love you! Don't leave me! I can't do this without you!"  
  
"But you just said-"  
  
"Forget what I said. That last contraction was a big one!"  
  
Luke took up his position once again beside his wife. He took her hand in his and kissed it.  
  
"I love you Lorelai."  
  
"I love you too Lu-Aaaaahhhhhh!"  
  
"Another contraction?"  
  
Lorelai nodded, in too much pain to fin the words. It had been 17 years since she'd given birth to Rory so she'd had more than enough time to forget how much this hurt. The tears spilled out of her eyes and down her cheeks,  
  
"It hurts Luke," she whimpered.  
  
"I know. Just breathe, I'm right here with you. And Rory and the rest of Stars Hollow are right outside the door waiting. Just one more big push and our baby will be here too."  
  
"I can't push anymore, it hurts too much."  
  
"Yes you can. Now just hold my hand and push! Ready?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Ready?"  
  
"Ok."  
  
"Alright. Here we go, 1-2-3-Push!"  
  
'Whhaaaaaaaaaa!' a baby's shrill first cry rang though the delivery room. It was like music to its parent's ears.  
  
"Mr. and Mrs. Danes, you have a healthy baby boy!"  
  
"Luke we have a little boy!"  
  
He couldn't reply. The doctor had just placed his newborn son in his arms and he was still in shock. Luke walked over to his wife and gently handed their son to her.  
  
"He's so beautiful Luke." Tears of sheer joy had replaced the tears of pain from only a few moments ago. Just then Rory came into the delivery room. Lorelai looked up at her and grinned.  
  
"Rory, I'd like you to meet your new brother, Lucas William Richard Danes."  
  
Rory moved to her mom's bedside.  
  
"He looks just like you mom!" she said lovingly stroking the coffee coloured fluff on the boy's head.  
  
"Um, I hate interrupt, but," The three looked up to see a nurse holding a camera," Say Coffee!"  
  
"COFFEE!"  
  
**END FLASHBACK**  
  
The memory ended as quickly as it had started. A tear rolled down the woman's cheek. She quickly wiped it away. Walking slowly across the room, the woman stopped when she came to a tiny pair of sneakers that had been strewn across the floor. They were red with white laces and so small; they fit in the palms of her hands. Another memory flashed through her mind.  
  
**FLASHBACK TO 1 WEEK AGO**  
  
"Luke! Is the popcorn ready yet?" called Lorelai  
  
"Yeah, yeah."  
  
Luke walked into the living room and put the popcorn on the table, adding it to the already enormous assortment of junk food. He looked a the spread in front of him, sat on the couch an grunted in disgust,  
  
"This is so unhealthy."  
  
"That being the basis of its appeal Luke," laughed Rory. "Anyway, what are we watching mom?"  
  
"Dirty Dancing," replied Lorelai as she put the tape in the VCR.  
  
"Oooh, I love that movie. Patrick Swayze is so yummy! Plus, have you notices how much Baby's mother looks like grandma?"  
  
Lorelai picked up 10-month-old Will and sat down on the floor, "I know, freaky isn't it?" Rory, Luke, Lorelai and Will settled in to watch the movie.  
  
At sometime during the flick Will had squirmed out of his mother's lap, then pulled himself onto his feet by the edge of the coffee table. And seeing as how no one was paying attention to him, he began to knock down the numerous glasses of soda on the table. Lorelai finally looked up at the sound of the second glass hitting the table,  
  
"Hey there mister. Just what do you think you're doing?" Will simply smiled mischievously at her and reached for the next glass. But Lorelai moved swiftly and beat him to it, pushing the glass out of his grasp.  
  
"I'll go get some paper towels."  
  
Luke stood up and started walking towards the kitchen. The sound of Luke's footsteps on the wood floor grabbed Will's attention away from his quest to spill more Cola. He watched Luke walk away for a second then promptly let go of the table and began taking wobbly steps after his father. Lorelai and Rory just watched in shock until the elder remembered how to speak,  
  
"Oh my gosh, Luke turn around! He's walking! He's walking!"  
  
"What?" Luke turned around to see what she was yelling about. Looking to where Rory and Lorelai were pointing so frantically, he saw his little boy taking his first steps towards him smiling with his chubby little arms outstretched. Luke crouched down, put his arms out and coaxed his son on,  
  
"Come get daddy. Come on, you can do it."  
  
The toddler's shaky legs wobbled the last few remaining steps to his father's embrace but he made it. Luke scooped him up and hoisted him in the air,  
  
"You did it little man! You did it!" The movie and spilled Coke forgotten, Lorelai and Rory skipped over to them, cheering and laughing excitedly.  
  
**END FLASHBACK**  
  
The happy laughter of the moment faded back deep into the woman's memory. She clutched the baby shoes to her desperately trying to bring it back. A few tears crept down her face unnoticed as she crept towards the sun-bathed crib. Her trembling fingers gently reached into the crib and grasped a small blanket. The material felt soft against her cheek. Its baby powder scent tickled her senses but the memory that came with it sliced through her heart like a knife.  
  
**FLASHBACK TO THAT MORNING**  
  
"OH CRAP! I'm late!" Rory sprang out of bed and began rushing around looking for clean shirt. Not finding one in her room or the dryer or anywhere else she looked, Rory ran upstairs to her mom's room.  
  
"Mom! Wake up!  
  
"Huh? Wha-," replied Lorelai, still very much asleep.  
  
"Mom! Where are all the clean clothes?!"  
  
Lorelai slowly struggled to shake the last remnants of sleep from her mind.  
  
"MOM!!"  
  
"Alright! Alright. Um…check the hall closet, Luke said he picked up the dry cleaning last night."  
  
With that Rory dashed downstairs. Lorelai heard her rummaging through the closet and then her triumphant "Ah-hah!" when she found what she was looking for. Rolling over, Lorelai stretched and glanced at the clock. 7:20am. 'Might as well get up. Will should be waking up soon anyway.' She got up and slipped on her bathrobe. As she made her way to the bathroom, Rory called from downstairs,  
  
"Mom!"  
  
"Ya babe."  
  
"Seeing as though I've probably already missed my bus, can I take the jeep?"  
  
"Ya, go ahead. The keys are in my purse."  
  
"Thanks mom! Bye!"  
  
"Bye hun!"  
  
Lorelai trudged sleepily down the stairs. "Need. Coffee," she groaned to herself. Half and hour later she was settled on the couch, third cup of coffee in hand, flipping through the channels. At some point during her absentminded channel surfing she came across Sesame Street. She smiled remembering how she and Will always watched it in the morning. 'Hmmm, that's funny. Will is always up by the time this comes on,' thought Lorelai. She got off the couch and climbed the stairs. As soon as she poked her head into the pale blue room, she knew something was wrong. It was much to quiet. No sounds of Will giggling or playing with his squeaky duck or even snoring slightly like he usually does. Lorelai quickly crossed the room to the crib. Inside, Will lay on his stomach still under the covers. She almost heaved a sigh of relief thinking that she was just simply still asleep. But looking a bit closer she suddenly realized that his little chest wasn't rising and falling, as it should be. Her heart leapt into her throat with panic.  
  
"T-Time to wake up baby," she croaked, nudging him slightly. Lorelai practically jumped. His skin was an eerie blue-gray color. She quickly scooped him up out of the crib. Will's little body hung limply in his mother's arms. 'This isn't happening! It can't be!'. Her mind was swirling and tears stung the back of Lorelai's eyes, but she refused to let them fall. This wasn't the time to lose control. Will was in trouble. She raced out of the room with Will in her arms to the phone and dialed the number for the diner.  
  
-"Hello, Luke's Diner."  
  
-"Luke!"  
  
-"Lorelai? What's the matter!?", the terror in her voice sent shockwaves through him even through the phone.  
  
-"It-It's Will! He's not breathing!" she sobbed.  
  
-"Oh my God! I'm coming home right now. Call the hospital and tell them we're on the way!"  
  
-"Ok…Hurry Luke; he's so cold."  
  
-"I'm coming."  
  
15 MINUTES LATER  
  
"Somebody help us please!!" Luke and Lorelai burst through the emergency room with Will wrapped in a blanket.  
  
"What happened?" asked a doctor as he took Will from them and placed him on a gurney.  
  
"I don't really know," Lorelai explained holding back the floodgates of panic, "When I went to wake him up this morning he wasn't breathing or moving and…". Her voice caught in her throat as she swallowed the rapidly growing lump there. Luke draped a protective arm across her shoulders.  
  
"Please, doctor what's happening to him?"  
  
"I don't know just yet, but right now we have to focus on getting him to breath. Please, have a seat and I'll update you as soon as I can." With that the doctor followed Will's gurney into a trauma room, leaving his terrified parents in his wake.  
  
Luke led Lorelai to a seat in the waiting room. His hands cupping her face, he tried to reassure her, "He's gonna be fine…He has to be." Lorelai wished with her whole soul that she could believe him, but the image of her baby's sickeningly pale features wouldn't allow it.  
  
"I'm gonna go call Rory and your parents." Luke stood up and walked to the nurse's station.  
  
Emily and Richard arrived within 20 minutes and Rory, slightly after that. Luke explained what was going on and the three joined he and Lorelai in the waiting room. They sat in silence, hoping for the best but still fearing the worst.  
  
Suddenly the silence of the waiting room was broken by the sound of the doctor clearing his throat. He ran his hands nervously through his hair and sighed, dreading the painful task ahead of him.  
  
"Mr. and Mrs. Danes…I'm so sorry…"  
  
"No please! He can't be- There must be something you can-" Luke exclaimed in disbelief. The sound of Rory's sobbing filled the waiting room. Her grandparents held her tightly and cried themselves.  
  
"We did everything we could sir, but we couldn't resuscitate him. He was just down for too long. As for what caused this, we won't know for sure until an autopsy is performed, but it looks like SIDS to me. I'm so sorry." The doctor gave Luke a sympathetic pat on the back and left the family alone to process the news.  
  
Lorelai sat in her chair completely in shock. Her face was white as a sheet and her normally vibrant eyes looked like cold, lifeless stones. Luke pulled her into his arms and she clung to him as if she was about to fall. The shock ran through every corner of her body. Her throat, dry and constricted, would barely permit her to breathe. But even through this the tears wouldn't come.  
  
1 A FEW HOURS LATER  
  
Lorelai felt herself being led to Luke's truck. She existed as if in between sleep and awake. Her mind was spinning. Her body moved as if on auto-pilot. It sat in the vehicle and stared straight ahead. The truck started and began to move. All the while no one spoke a word, only Rory's slight sniffling could be heard from the back seat. Lorelai glanced over at Luke. He looked so sad. Any trace of joy that was once there was gone from his face, only to be replaced by death's shadow. His shoulders sagged with the crushing weight of his grief. She wanted to comfort him, tell him that the pain would eventually subside, but her mouth refused to speak. It was just as well; she didn't really believe it herself. The pain was too strong for that to be true. So she pressed her head against the cold window and watched the scenery fly by until she fell into a shallow, restless sleep.  
  
The sound of the engine shutting off awakened her. Opening her eyes Lorelai could see they were home. Numbly, she stepped out of the truck, her legs trembling slightly. As Luke led her through the front door she stopped dead in the front hall and peered around her house. Everything about it seemed wrong. Just that morning it was full of life and love and a family, now it was just completely empty.  
  
"Lor?..." came a whisper from behind her. She turned to face Luke. His eyes looked were lifeless and tired. She touched her hands to his cheeks the tears dampening her palms. Luke tried to pull her close and force the overwhelming grief away from them both, but Lorelai gently backed away from his embrace. She let her jacket fall to the floor and walked slowly up the stairs.  
  
She hadn't meant to go into Will's room. It would be too hard. But when she got to the top of the stairs, she felt herself being pulled to it. Now, here she was, a mother missing her child, in a nursery missing a baby. Lorelai could fight the tears no longer. They came on like a flood, leaving her gasping for air. She backed up against the wall still clutching the baby blanket to her. 'My baby is dead!' the thought hit her like a kick in the chest. Her knees buckled underneath her and she fell to the floor in a heap. Inside, all she felt was blackness. Hollow, cold, empty blackness. Just then Luke came into the nursery and saw her on the floor, curled up against the wall. Lorelai looked up at him through bloodshot eyes, "He's gone Luke! Our baby boy's gone!" Luke encircled her in his arms on the floor, burying her face in his chest. She could feel his body shake as he wept. They clung to one another, each shielding the other from the sadness that hovered all around them. Day ended and night came, finding them still on the floor. There were no more tears to cry, no more words to say, just a silent nursery, grief to overcome and memories to treasure. 


	2. Author's Note

Authors Note:  
  
Hi everyone. I don't really have anything important to say here. This is just a clever ploy to move my story nearer the top of the list again. But thanks to all the people who reviewed my story. They mean a lot to me, it's not everday someone tells you that you're writing made them cry. So all in all, thank you and read some of my other stories.  
  
Rudy 


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